SINGLES

A Spiritual Solution

Yitzhak Buxbaum wants to find his basherte (soul mate), but he doesn’t like the New York singles scene.

"I rarely go to singles programs," says Buxbaum, a 55-year-old author and teacher. "I always leave feeling lowered and humiliated."

But when Buxbaum discovered the Basherte Workshop, he knew he had stumbled onto something different.

"I have never seen anyone take this spiritual approach to matchmaking," says Buxbaum, who has participated in workshops in Colorado and New York. "Whether or not you meet someone there, you receive pointers on how to find your soul mate, and learn to view your situation in a spiritual light that sweetens everything."

Hundreds of Jewish singles of all ages have taken part in the workshops, created in 1993 by Rosalie and Efraim Eisen of Woodstock, New York. Back then, the couple ran the meetings once a year at the Aleph Kallah, the conference of the Jewish Renewal movement. The couple hit the road last year, bringing their spiritual singles workshops to cities such as Vancouver, Canada, San Jose, Washington, DC Philadelphia, and on a more regular basis, Manhattan. And this fall, the couple will host workshops in Israel.

"We assume that people are yearning not only for a partner but for a connection to God," says Efraim. "That’s what differentiates us – we’re opening people to their own spirituality."

Participants use storytelling, music, and communication exercises to enhance their Jewish identity and their personal relationships. For example, workshops around Yom Kippur have addressed teshuvah (repentance) as both a spiritual and interpersonal imperative. Passover workshops have used the concept of chometz (leavened foods that are not eaten during the holiday), as a metaphor for the mistakes people need to put behind them as they search for their soul mates.

"There’s more to what we do than bagel brunches or singles dances," says Rosalie. In addition to helping people find their basherte, the Eisens hope to open discussions between people of differing Jewish orientations. And so far, the workshops have been attracting Jews across the denominational spectrum.

Their programming has also led to the development of an on-line matchmaking service for participants. Find out more on-line at www.baasherte.com. 413/586-3602.

AUGUST 1999 / MOMENT MAGAZINE PG 21